Faking It
by Brown Eyes Parker
Summary: In which Coulson pretends to be May's boyfriend and they get in way too deep. Rated T. AU-ish, slightly OOC but then we don't have enough background on the mom for me to know.


**Faking It**

**A Coulson/May Story**

**By Brown Eyes Parker**

**Author's Note: **

**This is my first multi-chapter story and it was written on request for phantomwriter05. I hope this does his prompt justice. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**Rating: T**

**.**

**Chapter 1**

"Could you do me a huge favor?" Melinda May asked her best friend and partner, Phil Coulson.

"It depends on what the huge favor is," Coulson answered. "Does it involve anything illegal?"

May laughed. "Not quite. I just was wondering if you'd come home with me this weekend. My mom has been trying to marry me off for three years now and I just want the endless parade of eligible Asian men to stop."

"So, you want me to come home and pretend to be your boyfriend?" Coulson clarified.

"Are you up for the challenge?" May replied.

Coulson shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sure that your parents won't like me."

"My mom probably won't but my dad will probably try and put some effort into liking you because he just wants me to be happy."

"Great," Coulson muttered. "Just what I always dreamed about, a mother-in-law who hates me."

May smiled. "Now Phil, nobody said anything about _mother-in-laws_. I just need you to come home with me for the weekend to pacify my mom until I can tell her that I'm simply not interested in a husband and children."

"You're not?"

"Not right now," May answered. "With our job, who has time for it? I know for a fact that _you_ aren't thinking about it."

"Like you, I'm not thinking about it _right now_ but maybe it's something I'd like to do in the future," Coulson replied.

"Forget about the future," May said. "Are you going to help me out now or not?"

"Of course I'll help you! Isn't that what good partners do?"

May wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a light squeeze. "Thank you Phil! I owe you one big time!"

"Don't worry about it," Coulson answered as she released him. "I mean what are male friends for but to pretend to be boyfriends?"

May smiled. "I'll go call my mom now and tell her that I'm bringing you home."

**.**

"So, this is Philip Coulson?" Mrs. May asked, sweeping him over with a critical eye.

"Yes mama," May answered. "This is Phil. . . My boyfriend."

Mrs. May grunted and shrugged. "I guess that he will do for now."

"_Mama!"_ May said, appalled.

"What?" She asked innocently. "Help me with dinner Melinda, cut. . . something. Philip, go and sit with my husband in the living room while we finish the meal."

When he had disappeared, May's mother turned and looked at her daughter. "Okay, what gives?"

"What do you mean _what gives_?" May asked. "I can't bring a boy home with me for the weekend?"

"No."

"I hope you're kidding," May said.

Mrs. May folded her arms across her chest and stared at her daughter. "I am not kidding. What is wrong with marrying a nice Chinese boy?"

"When I was a little girl, you told me that I didn't have to get married. That I could slay my own dragons if I wanted to, that I didn't need a man to hold my hand and rescue me from an ivory tower. Remember?" May demanded. "Remember you told me that I could marry whoever I wanted when the time came?"

Mrs. May slashed her hand in the air. "I didn't think you'd ever bring home a white boy to meet me and your father!"

"Well, I did and you're just going to have to get used to the idea of it, because he's staying. He's staying for a really long time. Grandmother and Grandfather let you do what _you _wanted when you were younger, why can't you do the same thing for me?"

"Because I don't want to see you unhappy," Mrs. May answered. "You have your work, isn't that enough for you? Do you have to have the man you want too?"

"Phil makes me happy," May told her mother.

It was the truth; Phil Coulson did make her happy. He was the closest friend that she had ever had and he was the only young man who really _got_ her.

"Well then, for your sake I will _try _to accept him," Mrs. May said.

May smiled. "Thank you mama, that really means a lot to me."

**.**

She waited until her parents were asleep to sneak over to the guest room and check on Coulson. He was sitting up in bed, reading a spy thriller, his geeky glasses were perched on the end of his nose and he was wearing pajamas that were straight out of a fifties movie.

"Hey," she whispered. "Can I come in?"

"I don't know," Coulson answered, pushing his glasses up. "Your father was pretty adamant about our staying in separate rooms until we're married."

May rolled her eyes. "Oh brother. I'm sorry you had to endure _that_ conversation."

"It's okay," Coulson said as he marked his place in his book and motioned for her to come in. "Do you need to talk about something?"

"I just wanted to thank you again," May replied. "It really means a lot to me that you're pretending to be my boyfriend. . ."

"I really don't mind," Coulson said. "It's fun and it isn't like I have anything better to do. It isn't like I have girls lining up at my door trying to date me."

May nodded and pushed a strand of hair away from her face. "We're going to have to figure out a way to end things eventually you know. Or we might actually end up married."

"I know," Coulson said. "But we'll take our time, we can't break up right away or your mom might get suspicious."

"I know!" May answered. "But we need to have a plan for some time in the future when my mother asks about wedding plans. And believe me, she _will_ ask about our plans. She might be forward-thinking when it comes to a woman and her career but there are just some things she will _not_ budge on. Marriage and children top that list."

"I'll be happy to pretend to be the man in your life for as long as possible," Coulson assured her. "Don't worry about it, okay? And when the time comes for us to 'split up', I will help you come up with a really good excuse to why we are doing it."

May smiled. "Thank you. I better go to bed before my mother wakes up and decides to check on us just to make sure we're not sleeping together."

"Goodnight," Coulson whispered. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," May whispered back. "Sleep well."

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**I am basically writing this by the seat of my pants. At some point, I plan to write an outline but right now I am **_**so**_** busy. So, I hope you guys will be patient with my feeble attempts at writing this fic. If you enjoy this, I hope you leave a review in the box below. I am looking forward to hearing from you.**

**Until next time.**

**Holly, 6/19/2014_**


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